My ConFeSsiON

First Post On 2010

2010-01-25T22:56:00.001+07:00

haven't blogged for a month i guess :)
glad that new year has come, but i can't help to think to myself how time running so quickly lately :D
anyway.. HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR!!! XD

Seandainya

2009-12-13T09:34:00.003+07:00

Jaman kita ini gak terlalu modern, masih yah katakanlah 1800 an kali yah..
atau kita hidup di jaman nya Laura Inggalls, yup, jaman nya cewe masi pake rok yang mekrok2 gitu.. (mekrok tuh apa?? halahhh)

Kenapa??

Karena di jaman itu mungkin aku bisa mempraktekkan prinsip Ruth, yang mungkin kapan2 akan aku jelasin, dimana cewek hanya bisa nunggu cowok untuk menunjukkan ketertarikan nya pada si cewek, dan cara cowok itu ngajak pacaran si cewek adalah ngomong dulu ma ortu si cewek,..

Jaman sekarang, masih ada ga sih yang kayak gitu?

Menurut ku itu adalah prinsip pacaran yang bener, klu cowok suka ma cewek, harus nya dia harus berani untuk minta ijin sama ortu si cewek buat pacaran ma si cewek..
Itu juga adalah prinsip yang diajarin oleh Joshua Harris di buku nya, I Kissed Dating Goodbye dan When Boys Meet Girls.

Dan itu juga prinsip yang pingin ak anut, dan aku sedang berusaha untuk itu.

The Most Beautiful Wedding So Far...

2009-12-13T09:10:00.004+07:00

Last Friday, waktu ak ikut EO wedding di Dynasty Convention Center, menurut ku itu adalah the most beautiful wedding reception i ever see.. :D

bukan dr dekorasi nya aja, tp yang menurutku paling berkesan adalah balloon release nya :)

yup, jadi sepanjang red carpet itu di pasang balon warna-warni, trus saat pengantin nya berjalan masuk menuju pelaminan, balon itu dilepas.

i was speechless... it was simply beautiful.

kayak nya, itu adalah resepsi pernikahan idamanku. ingetin ak bsk klu nikah,.. pengen pake balloon release juga.. lol.

trus, yang ak suka juga itu foto pre wedding nya, disitu ada satu foto, dimana si cewek duduk di atas kuda2 an komidi putar, yup on carrousel, dan si cowok berdiri di depan nya dan nyium tangan si cewek. bener2 kayak adegan favorit ku di pangeran kodok alias the prince who turns into a frog. jadi inget betapa imut nya Dang Oh :D

aw aw aw

My Whole New Life

2009-12-10T21:34:00.003+07:00

yea, its been a while since i updated this blog. long while actually. lol
banyak banget yang udah terjadi setaon ini, dan ga tau kenapa setaon ini emg ak sama sekali gak nyentuh blog ini :D
musti cerita dr mana dulu ya? well... pertama, hal yang paling penting, aku putus sama hunny. well now he's not my hunny anymore, so i gotta call him by his name, ngip2.
dan itu terjadi kira2 setengah taon yang lalu, tepatnya tanggal 15 Juli 2009.

why??

disini aku bakal cerita jujur.. toh emg ga bakal ada yg baca blog ku. wkwkwkwkwk...
jadi sebener nya, setelah aku lahir baru di bulan desember taon lalu (which means sudah setaon bulan desember ini) ak uda mulai merasa ragu dengan nya. dengan kita. karena di retret itu kan ak dikasih tau gimana cara memilih pasangan hidup yang tepat. and well. i just know that he is not the man of God. period.

tp waktu itu ak masih coba bertahan atas nasihat dr mas dan dan mba emy yang adalah kakak rohaniku sekarang. so, i hang on. selama bulan desember sampai juli itu ak selalu berdoa, Tuhan, kalau ngip2 emg bukan buat aku, tolong, putuskan mita sama ngip2. ga peduli betapa sakitnya aku nanti, paksa aku ke jalan Mu.
dan waktu itu pun, ak berpikir, God, ak ga bakal sanggup mutusin dia dulu.

sampai akhirnya, pada suatu minggu, kita bertengkar, dan disitu, ak bener2 ga mau buat minta maaf duluan, yah biasanya emg ak yg slalu minta maaf, walaupun itu bukan kesalahanku, tp karena ak ga tahan diem2 an akhirnya ak yg minta maaf, tp pd waktu itu, gak, ak ga minta maaf sama sekali. dan dia ngediemin ak sampe 2 hari.
sampe pada akhirnya, selasa sore klu ga salah, dia sms.
dan sebel nya, dia sms seakan g ada apa2...
dan disitu, ak dapet kekuatan buat mutusin dia. walaupun ya, ak akuin ak sambil sms ke mba emy, minta doa, kekuatan, tp Tuhan kasih ak kekuatan buat mutusin dia, walo dia pertama nya ga terima, tp ak ttp kekeuh. and finally he said yes.
percaya atau ga, kita putus cuman lwt sms. some love, huh?

seminggu setelah itu, adalah hari2 berat, kadang ak lg kerja, dan tau2 air mata ku jatoh sendiri. well what can i say? hubungan ku yg hampir 3 taon itu ga sebentar, and i used to love him. so much. tp banyak banget yg ngasi ak kekuatan pd saat itu. pertama tentu aja, Tuhan Yesus, trs mba emy, mama ku, temen2 di kantor, mereka semua mensupport aku dengan sedemikian hebat nya.

well, ngip2 coba hubungin aku seminggu setelah itu juga. but i still said no. sekali tidak tetap tidak,. ak minta dia buat ngehargain keputusan ku. well kata2 terakhirnya pada ku adalah, okay, now leave me rotten in here. tp ak ttp teguh dengan keputusan ku.

bagaimanapun, itu adalah hal yang terbaik buat ku. dan buat dia. ak harap dia bakal ngerti itu suatu hari,. pertama, dasar kita sudah ga sama, walau dia mo ke greja (catat : ak ga pernah minta dia jd kristen!!) tp well.. ttp aja beda, trs, keluarga ku dan keluarga dia sama2 ga setuju dengan hubungan ini, trs mau buat apa? i can't fight anymore,... terlebih lagi, ak ga mau menjalani hubungan yang gak berkenan di mata Tuhan.

well, now, enough about him. intinya, sekarang, sudah setengah taon berlalu, well, saat inget dia, atau bahkan saat nulis blog ini pun, hatiku masih terasa gimana gitu... gatel. hehehe. tp gpp. im over him already. he's so yesterday. saat nya untuk memulai hidup baru.

terus... cerita apa lagi ya??? kerja ku juga masih sama di Gunung Mas, ak betah sih disitu.. cuman hari2 ini emg lg ribet.. lembur mulu karena kt kurang orang, dah gitu musti selesai laporan tutup taon bln februari pula. buset dah.
trs juga, ak sekarang ikut Event Organizer Pita Merah. asik banget. kebanyakan kita ngurusin wedding gitu. dan aku mulai merasa, wow, i love this EO job, could this be the job of my life?? heheheh.

anyway... im gonna update this blog from now as soon as possible :D

TTYL.

luv, Mita.

Kau Sempurna

2008-12-28T18:40:00.002+07:00

Kau begitu sempurna
Di mata ku Kau begitu indah
Kau membuat diri ku akan slalu memuja Mu
Di setiap langkah ku
Ku kan slalu memikirkan diri Mu
Tak bisa kubayangkan hidupku tanpa cinta Mu

Jangan lah Kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersama Mu ku akan bisa
Kau adalah darah ku
Kau adalah jantung ku
Kau adalah hidup ku
Lengkapi diri ku
Oh YESUS ku Kau begitu...
Sempurna

Titik Balik Hidupku

2008-12-28T18:06:00.003+07:00

Mungkin ini akan menjadi sebuah kesaksian, mungkin... :)
tapi yang jelas aku ingin sekali mempublikasikan ini, at least mengabadikan ini di blog ku, biar bsk2 aku bisa ngebaca nya lagi..

Aku pikir selama ini aku hidup baik2 aja, tapi aku ga sadar, kalau aku semakin menjauh dari Tuhan, aku dengan enaknya hidup di dalam dosa, aku tetep ke gereja, pelayanan, tapi dalem ku kosong.
Sampe kmaren, aku ikut retret di Baturaden yang diadain sama PERKANTAS, sebenernya tadinya aku pun udah ga mau ikut, tapi, waktu 2 hari sebelom retret, aku tau2 ngerasa hampa banget, kayak hidup ini g ada artinya, kayak aku hidup yah cuman gitu2 aja. Akhirnya aku mutusin buat ikut retret itu.

Hari pertama, aku easy2 aja... ga ada apa2,, sampai hari ke 2 itu, sesi terakhir yang dipimpin sama Mas Dan, disitu dia bilang, hanya ada dua pilihan, ikut Kristus atau iblis. Kita ga isa hidup di area abu2, kita ga isa ikut Yesus cuma setengah2.
Hidup manusia ini, hanya terdiri dari kita lahir, kita menikah, kita punya anak, dan kita mati. Jadi? apa hidup kita ini bakal berlalu begitu aja?? Seandainya, akhir hidup kita adalah kematian. The end. Pasti bakal enak banget, kita bisa berbuat apa aja semau kita selama kita masi hidup di dunia ini. Tapi engga kayak gitu, justru kehidupan kita bermula dari kematian. Setelah kita mati, kita mau kemana? Pilihan nya jelas ada di tangan kita.

Gini, kita gak isa milih gimana kita di lahirin, pengen muka kita kayak apa, pengen dilahirin di keluarga mana, kita ga isa milih itu. Tapi, ada satu hal yang bisa kita tentuin sendiri, yaitu akhir hidup kita. Kita bisa memutuskan sendiri akhir hidup kita kayak apa. Jadi, mau dibuat apa hidup kita ini? Mau di bawa kemana hidup kita ini? Akankah kita bertahan di sisi Tuhan? atau menyerah pada dosa??

Di retret itu sempet ada sebuah film pendek, tanpa kata, cuman gambar animasi. Disitu digambarin seorang anak laki2 kecil, Yesus menghampiri dia dan menitipkan salib kepadanya. Salib itu gede, lebih gede dari tinggi badannya dia. Tapi dia dengan senang hati menerima nya, lalu Yesus pun berlalu. Anak kecil itu memegang salibnya dengan tenang. Kemudian teman2 nya lewat, dia pun tersenyum dan melambai pd teman2 nya itu, sampai akhirnya temannya berlalu. Lalu keluarga nya lewat, keluarga nya tersenyum dan mengajak dia pergi, tapi dia tetap bertahan memegang salib yang dititipkan Yesus kepadanya, dan dia membiarkan keluarganya berlalu sambil tetap tersenyum. Waktu demi waktu berlalu, Yesus belum datang juga, anak itu mulai merasa lelah, tapi dia tetap memeluk salib itu. Lalu cuaca berubah, hujan turun, tapi dia tetap tidak pergi. Dia mulai merasa keberatan, tidak lagi mememeluk salib, dia sekuat tenaga menopang salib tersebut dengan kedua tangan nya. Lalu badai salju mulai datang, sangat kuat, anak kecil tersebut sekuat tenaga berusaha menopang salib tersebut agar tidak jatuh. Tapi apa daya, dia hanya seorang anak kecil yang tidak punya tenaga, terus dan terus waktu berlalu, anak kecil itu jatuh terlungkup di tanah, tapi dia mengangkat kepalanya dan berdiri lagi, sekuat tenaga dia berusaha untuk memegang salib itu kembali, walau dia sudah sangat lemah, kuyu, dan bajunya pun tetap compang camping. Dia tetap memegang teguh salib itu. Lalu akhirnya, Yesus pun datang, dengan menangis dia memeluk anak itu, anak itu pun memeluk Yesus sambil menangis tersedu-sedu. Dia sangat senang karena akhirnya Yesus datang menjemputnya. Lalu Yesus mengajak anak itu pergi bersamanya.

Ya guys, itu adalah gambaran hidup kita, Yesus menitipkan salib kepada kita. Akankah kita mau terus berpegang teguh pada salib itu. Yang pasti itu tidak mudah, berbagai masalah akan menghimpit kita, badai datang menerpa, sedangkan kita, tidak akan kuat sendirian, akankah kita tetap setia kepada Nya sampai Yesus datang menjemput kita ke dalam kekekalan?

Waktu itu, di retret itu, aku membuat sebuah keputusan yang sangat besar. Makanya itu kukatakan sebagai titik balik hidupku, aku mau menerima Yesus, kali ini benar2 menerima Nya, aku mau mengikut Dia seratus persen, dan tidak lagi berkompromi dengan dosa sekecil apapun. Tidak lagi.

Hari ke tiga retret, aku diberi nubuatan oleh Mas Gun, waktu itu aku yang sudah menangis tersedu2, aku benar2 merasa aku ini sangat kotor, terlalu berdosa dan tidak layak dihadapan Allah. Mas Gun menjamah kepalaku, the amazing thing is aku tidak kenal dia, tapi dia tahu isi hatiku, ROh Kudus yang memberitahunya aku percaya, dia berkata, bahwa aku layak, asalkan aku mau memanggil Yesus masuk ke dalam hatiku, dan mengaku semua dosa2 ku, aku layak menyembahnya. Dia berkata jangan lagi mencari cinta semu dari dunia,karena itu akan berakhir, dunia ini akan hilang, tapi cinta dari Yesus lah yang tidak akan pernah berakhir, Yesus mencintaiku, lebih dari siapa pun, lebih dari orang tuaku. Panggil Yesus, undang Dia bertahta dalam ku.
Aku benar2 merasakan kuasa jamahan Tuhan pada saat itu, seolah Dia sendiri yang berkata2 kepadaku. Memang, selama ini aku menyadari, aku mencari cinta2 untuk menutupi kekosongan hati ku, mencari cinta yang tidak kudapat dari kedua orang tuaku,.

Aku bersyukur. Sampai saat ini dan seterusnya, aku benar2 bersyukur bahwa Yesus telah memberiku kesempatan, untuk merasakan cinta kasih Nya, untuk dipilih menjadi anak Nya. Sekarang, aku mulai bersungguh-sungguh mengikut Dia. Saat teduh setiap hari, bible reading, dan yang paling penting adalah berdoa. Aku benar2 merasakan cinta kasih Nya, penyertaan Nya yang tiada berkesudahan dalam hidupku. Bersyukur, benar2 bersyukur...

Tetapi tentu saja tantangan datang silih berganti, orang2 yang meremehkanku, menganggapku tidak sungguh2, dll. Tapi aku tahu, bahwa Tuhan Yesus selalu ada buat aku. Tanpa Nya aku lemah, ak tidak berdaya, tapi dengan Dia aku akan bisa mengepakkan sayapku, terbang tinggi bersama Nya. Aku menyerahkan hatiku, hidupku, jiwa dan ragaku ke dalam tangan Nya. Aku tahu Dia akan memberi yang terbaik buat aku. Dia yang sudah mati bagiku, dan begitu menyayangiku.

Tapi satu hal yang harus kita ingat, jangan sampai kita menyembah Tuhan hanya karena kita mau berkat dari Nya, sembahlah Dia pujilah Dia karena Dia adalah Dia. Allah yang hidup. Raja diatas segala Raja. Allah pencipta langit bumi dan segala isinya.
Sekarang aku tahu, bahwa kenikmatan hidup yang dulu aku anggap penting, adalah bukan apa2 dibandingkan dengan Allahku. Tidak ada hal yang lebih penting di dunia ini selain Dia. Lagipula, kita hidup menumpang di dunia ini hanya sementara, kehidupan kita yang sesungguhnya adalah nanti, bersama Dia diatas sana,.
Sekarang aku pun sudah tidak takut lagi dengan kematian, ataupun keabadian. Bahkan kiamat, aku tahu, pada hari disaat Yesus datang nanti, aku akan bisa tersenyum menatapnya, gembira bahwa ini sudah berakhir, aku akan berada bersama Nya selamanya adalah kebahagiaan terindah yang pernah aku rasakan.

Sekarang aku tahu, aku bukan lagi aku yang dulu, bukan lagi Mita yang dulu, yang tahu kebenaran tapi tidak mau tahu. Aku jadi aku yang baru, karena hidupku, bukan nya aku lagi, tapi Kristus dalam ku. Aku mau membiarkan Tuhan yang bertahta dalam hatiku, dalam hidupku, jadi aku ga isa lagi mengambil keputusan sendirian, aku mau Tuhan yang mengambil setiap langkah dalam hidupku. Bahkan dalam hal sekekecil apapun.

Aku harap, semoga, semua yang membaca post ku ini, merasa di berkati, dan aku berdoa, kalian semua juga dapat merasakan apa yang aku rasakan, menerima Yesus, dan menerima kemuliaan menjadi anak Raja. Amin.

my last minutes as a teenager

2008-10-24T23:16:00.000+07:00

sekarang jam 23.11
my last hour as a teenager...
yeph... 49 menit lg.. i'll turn into twenty..
gosh, its kinda hard to believe i'm not gonna be teenager anymore. i'll be twenty-something girl..
but it's kinda excited though..
apalagi bsk pagi hunny mau dateng. we'll celebrate together..

thanks God.. for another year You give me. let me be Your good daughter..
i love You Lord.. Thank You..

Count Blessings

2008-10-03T14:40:00.002+07:00

Hari kelima liburan,
still males2 an dirumah, masi mikir kenapa klu kita lagi bersenang-senang kayak sekarang waktu pasti berlalu cpt banget?
ga sadar uda weekend lagi, bsk senen uda masuk kerja lagi, berkutat dengan segala macem laporan laporan dan evaluasi akhir bulan.
hemm..
tapi bukan itu yang pengen ak tulis disini,
hari ini, seperti biasa ak menghabiskan waktu dengan pure males-malesan di rumah, ngapa2in yang ga genah, maen komputer sesiangan. nah ak tau2 kepengen ke wnet, secara hunnyku juga lg jaga gitu, kan lumayan isa chat bareng sambi ak donlot cc nya the sims lagi sama pengen cari lagunya mc fly gt.
nah waktu lg di jalan, seperti biasa ak naek motor kesayangan, i dunno, suddenly, i feel peace. yeph, damai. damai banget tau2 rasanya.
ak ga tau kenapa, dan mengapa ataupun karena apa. pokoknya tau2 ak ngerasa ak sangat sangat menikmati momen ini. momen dimana ak masi ada di sini, di kota Purwokerto, menikmati kehidupan ini dengan segala sesuatunya.
i feel blessed.
ak ga tau ak ketempelan wangsit darimana, hehe... tp saat ini ak bener2 bisa menikmati dan mensyukuri setiap nafas yang ak ambil, setiap jalan yang ak lalui, setiap kegiatan yang ak bisa lakukan.
i hope this feeling last forever,.. :)
karena sebenernya, we are blessed everyday. For Him, taking care of us, it's so wonderful feeling.....

"Here i am to worship,
here i am to bow down,
here i am to say that You're my God.
You're altogether worthy,
altogether lovely,
altogether wonderful to me"

"I am blessed,
i am blessed.
For when i rise up in the morning
till i lay my head at rest,
i feel You near me,
You see me when i weary,
o Lord, for all the worst and all the best,
I am blessed.."

Udang Dibalik Bakwan

2008-09-18T00:41:00.000+07:00

SBY dateng ke pwt. Seluruh kota dibikin ribut. Sepanjang trotoar ditanemin bunga warna-warni. Biasa nya? Boro2! Tanah aja gersang gt.

Just one word from me : muna! A pure kamuflase. Knp ga biarin aja presiden tau gmn aslinya kota ini? Ntr abis dia balik jg paling bunganya dicabutin lg! Klu engga pun pasti ga bakal bertahan lama, pasti dicabut2in ma masyarakat. Kyk ga tau aja..

Lagian, dateng pas mo lengser, yakin tu bkn kampanye terselubung?

Now is Triple Ooh

2008-09-14T19:18:00.008+07:00

Like Carrie Bradshaw once said,
women deserves some good shoes.

and i am totally agree with that,
ooh who can resist the charm of a cute shoes??

once you buy a new one,
you will craving for more....
like me.

oh oh oh

Love tHe Oldies

2008-09-14T18:56:00.003+07:00

akhir2 ini ak lg suka dengerin lagu2 lama...
such as : kisah cintanya Chrisye yg dirilis ulang sama Peterpan,
atau karna kutau engkau begitu nya Andre Hehanusa :)

don't know why,
rasanya asik aja dengerin musik kayak gitu.
perhatiin ga si ? menurutku lagu2 nya band2 sekarang (yang tambah bejibun aja banyak nya sampe pucing) semuanya kedengeran sama aja buat ak.. they are at the same type.
ga ada ada yg bener2 beda.
bahkan kmaren pun bos ku tanya sama ak,
"band apa yg lagi booming sekarang?"
sumpah ak ga isa jawab,
karena saking banyak nya band yang ada, semua rata2 sama2 aja tuh,
misalpun terkenal ya rata2 pamornya sama,
ga ada yg bener2 booming sampe semua org suka...

i can't help to wonder (cieeeh uda kayak Carrie Bradshaw), klu fashion bisa berulang lagi, bisa gak ya musik berulang lagi?
mungkin ga ya satu saat nanti kita balik lagi ke jaman2 lagu2 nya yg kayak lagu2 jaman dulu lagi??

Purwokerto, geezz

2008-09-14T18:29:00.002+07:00

I officially hates Purwokerto now,
not my all means, but, as you know, its almost the Lebaran day,
then, all over the city looks like getting an invansion from alien.
uh, i mean not really an alien, but a country-side ppl,
they are everywhere.... geezz
thats why now the traffic is soooooo annoying,
i can't ride my motorbike without yelling to other driver who drives like an asshole, geezz, see? i'm swearing because of them? God forgive me..
plus the weather is unfriendly either..
its just so HOT that i feel summer is back again at this town.

its the weather
and the traffic

argh
argh

double argh.

B-O-R-E-D

2008-09-07T18:33:00.002+07:00

Is it true when ppl says that your love "feeling" for your beloved one will be gone in 4 years?

Then how about many couples who has married for years, but still in love with each other?

One of my friend said, that she is can be easily bored with a guy, so that she's afraid whether she can handle that when it comes to marriage?

But then the answer of my other friend made me realize, she been married, and she said no, she didn't and would never get bored with her husband. Why? She answered, its like we eat all day, everyday, but we never get bored with eating right? why is that? That is because we need to eat.

That's it.

It can be the answer. We all may can't be run from being bored, but we can get over it. Because love is not enough, we need to make intimacy, with our beloved one. But really, that is another topic.

:)

Newest Confession

2008-08-31T17:59:00.002+07:00

Hum...
another confession, eh?
let me see...
do you guys already know that i am an edward cullen's freak now?
lol
yea i mean it, the new Twilight series is driving me crazy,...
:D

wanna see more?
oh oh
www.myedwardcullen.blogspot.com

My RoAd

2008-04-13T16:44:00.002+07:00

Entah kenapa, klu ak lagi dijalan, lagi dalam perjalanan, kemana aja, pasti pikiran ku sering ngalor ngidul kemana2. Ga tau isa aja gitu tau2 kepikiran macem2, mulai dari ide cerita novel, stories2 dari org2 yg ak liat, sampe filsafat hidup. haha.. uda mulai isa berfilsafat malahan. anybody feels like me?

Kayak yg ak sering pikir, hidup kita itu persis sebuah perjalanan. yang dimana itu gak gampang. di jalan itu kita bakal ketemu banyak orang, dan di jalan itu kita menuju ke sebuah tujuan. sekali lagi, itu gak gampang. bakal banyak bgt rintangan yang bakal kita hadapi. such as : pengemudi yg nyetir seenak perutnya, becak yang tau2 nyebrang, dll dll. dan kadang kita nemuin sebuah belokan, dan untuk belok itu pun sebuah tantangan, isa aja tau2 kita di serempet dari samping saat mau belok, kayak ak kmaren. halah.

isn't life just like that?

di hidup ini kita pasti punya tujuan, apapun itu, dan untuk mencapai tujuan itu kita perlu melewati rintangan2 yang ada. berkonsentrasi sama satu tujuan.
tujuanku?
menurutku tujuan hidup ini yah apalagi klu bukan Bapa di surga.
sekrang ini kita hidup disini toh cuman sementara, hidup yg sebenarnya adalah hidup sesudah kematian nanti. dan sekarang, hidup yg ada ini, jagalah biar kita ttp layak, layak di sebut anak Tuhan. layak untuk masuk kerajaan Allah.

that's not easy though... but i will do it... =)

wad we've got

2008-04-02T21:48:00.001+07:00

today is my last day di aneka. ak ketrima krj di utama variasi. dan td.. waktu pamitan sama temen2, ak nangis.
tangis itu meledak gt aja tanpa isa kutahan. aneh.. banget. krn seingetku selama ini ak benci tmpt itu.
tp knp ak sedih bgt wkt ak sadar ak g bakal balik situ lg? anak2 pun.. termasuk melly, jd baik bgt. ak sadar .. i hate them, but i love them much. the silly thing is i never realize that.. we never know what we have till its gone..

Nite Rhapsody

2008-02-20T00:13:00.001+07:00

uda jam 12 mlm. tp heran knp y ni mata msi aja kuat melek. ternyata rasa kantuk ku kalah ama rasa penasaran nyobain opera mini.
yeph.. ini ak lg iseng nyoba nulis blog pke hp pke browser opera mini. kinda amazing sbnrnya this stuff can work well. mengingat ni hp sm sekali bkn tipe hp baru yg keren. sm 6600 aja plng kalah (kyknya..) haha. but however, its still feels fun. kan enak internetan smbl bu2 an gni. hehe.

gnite guys....

DIET!!!

2008-02-17T20:22:00.000+07:00

Pengalaman Pertamaku : TERROR

2008-02-17T19:54:00.002+07:00

This week is kinda my worst week, in my whole life, ever!
Kejadiannya... yah dimulai dr tempat kerja ku yang sekarang, kerja di Toko Mas, di bagian kantor, berangkat jam setengah sebelas pagi dan selesai jam delapan malem, itu kalau normalnya, klu lagi ada pelanggan bisa sampe jam 10!! Belum lagi kalau lebaran, beuh... ak pernah pulang jam 3 pagi!!!
Imagine it.....
Intinya, ak males kerja disitu..... hemm, sebener nya uda lumayan cinta sama kerjaan nya, tp gimana? jam kerja nya itu yg bikin bebeh... huks... ak jd sering sakit, kayak kmaren tipes ku kumat lagi sampe ak bolos 2 minggu gak kerja. Yang nyebelin, anak2 kerja ngira itu gara2 ak sendiri, gara2 ak suka dolan la klu pulang kerja lah, begadang maen gem lah, dll dll.
Sampe kmaren...
Hari kamis malem... ak pulang jam setengah 9, dan ak langsung pergi ke PIOO, tempat rental kaset gem, DVD, ama komik. Nah, secara ak uda telat ngebalikin komik, ya ak harus dunk pergi kesana buat balikin komik. Sampe rumah uda jam setengah 10 malem. Terus mama ku cerita, td ada yg telpon mama, dan ke hp na mama... dr anak temen kerja ku, namanya Melly.
Ok, sampe sini ak deskripsikan dulu sama anak ini... Dia, hem... jujur aja dari pertama ak uda gak begitu cocok sama anak satu ini. Kalo ngomong suka nylekit, nyakitin banget, kayak
gak pernah dipikir.... erghhh.....
Fine, lanjut... Melly tanya kata nya ak uda pulang belum, mama jawab belum, paling lg ke PIOO, Melly na bilang padahal uda pulang dari tadi loh tante,... gitu gitu dan dia pesen ke mama supaya jangan ngasi tau ke ak.. Syukurlah mama ngasi tau....
gak lama sekitar jam 10 ada sms masuk ke hp mama... isinya kira2 gini
"Bu, ak cuman mau ngasi tau supaya ati2 sama anak ce nya, dia gak bener dibelakang ibu, ak cuman kasian aja sama ibu.."

Whaaad???? maksud na apa? siapa? sumpah ak bingung... langsung aja ak bangunin mama yg waktu itu uda bubu dng enak nya, maap ya mah, trs mama blng paling si Melly itu lagi.. uhhh... trs ak bales gini sms na "Ini siapa ya? salah sambung kali?"
trs dia bales lagi gini, "Ini ibunya mita kan? saya cuman kasi tau aja kok bu... anaknya tolong dijaga baek2.."
Weks...!!!!!!!
Wad the hell is this??? maksud na apa? langsung aja ak bales lagi. "oh ini Melly yah?"
dia na jawab "bukan, siapa itu Melly? saya bukan Melly"
Gubrak! masi gak mau ngaku pula.... at that time, ak bener2 ngerasa marah.
gak tau malu. ikut2 an urusan orang. gak mau ngaku. pake sms2 mama. pengecut. kalo berani sini.
Besoknya...
ak pulang kerja, kata mama ada 2 sms lagi hari ini.. dan kali ini isinya..
"Ibu tau nda apa yg Mita lakuin waktu ibu mudik kmaren? ati2 ya bu mbok kebablasan.." yah itu kira2 yang ak inget, but trust me, aslinya sms nya seribu kali lebi nyebelin dr yang ak tulis disini!!!! Phew.... sek tarik nafas sek....
Jadi, begini... penjelasan dr sms diatas adalah....
Waktu lebaran kmaren, kan mama mudik ke kediri, dan ak ada reuni sama anak2 SMA di baturaden, dan ak uda minta ijin sama mama.. dan satu2 nya salahku adalah... Ngip2 sebenernya dateng dan dia ikut pergi. Dan ak nda bilang mama soal itu.
Waktu itu ak mikir, mati ak kalu ketauan!! dan ak pikir sebelom itu org jahanam satu mbocorin rahasiaku mending ak terus terang ke mama... dan.. thank God i made a right decision, ak kasi tau mama, dan mama gak marah! dia cuman bilang, banyak2 bedoa ya, lebih deket lg sama Bapa, karena dunia ini semakin lama semakin jahat...
terus, abis itu sms na ak bales gni atas suruhan mama "nda usah la sms2 yg nda penting lg kayak gitu. saya uda tau. urus urusan mu sendiri, jangan ngurusin masalah org laen."
dan sampe saat ini, yang ak tau, itu org sama sekali ga sms lagi.. Puji Tuhan....
Jujur aja, ak sempet shock,... baru kali ini, seumur2 ak ngadepin masalah kayak gini.
sampe sekarang pun ak nda abis2 nya mikir, salahku apa? kenapa sih dia musti segitunya sama ak? ak salah apa sama dia? padahal klo di kantor pun, ak baik2 in dia,... dia ne juga lumayan baek sama ak walo tetep aja omongan nya kadang bener2 ngebuat ak pengen nonjok mukanya sekeras2 nya..
Satu lagi... ak nda tau, mungkin itu juga bukan Melly yg sms, tapi Mika... dia juga.. hem gimana ya? sebener e dia yg nyuru ak masukin lamaran ke tempat kerjaku sekarang, isa dibilang, dia yang masukin ak. Tapi gak tau, setelah ak masuk ke situ, sikap na dia jd beda banget. Jadi sombong banget, jd nyebelin banget. Waktu pertama masuk pun, dia uda nyalah2 in ak, kata e ak kerja ne nda bener la, kelakuan ku nda patut la, hey... padahal dia itu gak kerja di dalem kantor, jd gimana dia tau? dia kan cuman jaga toko di luar!!! its just a bunch of shit! really...!
phew...
yah one thing i can learn.... ak benci kalo orang gak ngehargain privacyku, ikut campur urusan ku seenaknya, dan ngatur2 ak...... ak nerima saran dr orang agar ak jd lebih baek tentu aja, tp .... please... gak harus kayak gini kan cara nya??????????

"Don't think that you can tell me what to think
I'm the one who knows what's good for me
and I'm stating my independence
gonna take the road I'm gonna take
and I'm gonna make my own mistakes
it's my life
I decide

I decide, how I live
I decide, who I love
choice is mine and no one gets to make my mind up
I decide
I decide where I go, what I need, who I know
I'm the one who's running my life
I decide, I decide

Don't think you're ever gonna hold me down
Couldn't do it then can't do it now
I'm kicking down all the fences
I'm gonna do it all and do too much
and if I mess the whole thing up
its my right
I decide"

Happy Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-24T09:47:00.000+07:00

Merry X'mas everyone....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Santa Claus is coming to town... tonight, exactly, coz tonight is Christmas Eve!!!
Hohohoho....
Ak seneng banget dahh akhirnya natal dateng lagi... Not only about celebrate X-mas and having party, but the most important is about celebrate Jesus Birthday!! :) He comes to the world so the world may be free from its sin, and so human can have a good relationship again with God, that's the reason Jesus comes, to save us from our sin, to died for us :)
And this year, hope Christmas bring us peace, joy, and of course... green to the world!!!

Monday.... again,.. urgh...

2007-11-19T09:54:00.000+07:00

Kenapa?
Harus ada hari senen di dunia ini???????? Sebel banget rasa nya.. baru sehari aja enak2 libur, dan sekarang musti masuk kerja lagi................... aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhh.............. why Lord????????
Only God knows how will i pass this day......................... sighhh

maybe its kinda early... but.......

2007-11-18T19:40:00.001+07:00

Every woman must wants kids. Right??

Huah speaking about kids, nda tau knp kok ak jd sering kepikiran sama Lenneth dan Rufus. Who are them???? Huehehehehehe... they are my future kids =P ak sama hunny uda sepakat kalau punya anak ce mau dinamain Lenneth, trs klu co Rufus.

Sebenernya, i made my mind that ak ga mau punya anak dulu, jadinya yah mau seneng2 dulu bedua gituu.... tapi yah, having kids is fun too i guees, dan walau pun sekarang ak belum siap, tapi rasanya uda pengen liat mereka. Hehe...... someday, pasti =)

Well, even this kinda too early to say, but i really wanna say this to Lenneth and Rufus :
"Mommy loves you....! And we will meet... sooner or later...!"

'The Moment'

2007-11-18T19:09:00.000+07:00

Inget adegan di film2 yang sering kita tonton, dimana ada ce dan co yang saling mencintai (cieeeh...) dan adegan dimana tu co ngelamar si ce. Si co bakalan berlutut di depan ce itu, megang tangannya, dan bilang "Will you marry me?"

Awwwwww................. Yeph... kayaknya ce mana yg gak lumer klu co na, org yang paling dia cintain di dunia ini bilang kek gitu, dreams finally comes true! Haha.

Ok, thats 'The Moment' i talking about now. Pernah gak si bayangin hal2 kek gt? Hmm............. honestly, i already got the moment, walo pun gak sama si yg kek di pilm2, jd gimana2 juga bener nya pengen juga sih liat co ku berlutut trs ngeluarin cincin dan bilang gini "Paramita Octaviani, will you marry me??" Hahahahaha........ uda deh mulai ngayal nya.... =p

Somehow, ada seberapa sih ce yang ngayalin hal2 kayak gitu? Ada yang mimpiin cepet2 nikah sama co idamannya, contoh tmen kerja ku sendiri. Atau ada juga yang gak mau terikat, gak mau komitmen, yang masi pengen bebas seneng2, contoh best friend ku sendiri.

Aku pikir,... everyone's got their own happiness, ada yg emg bahagia dengan jd ibu rumah tangga, ngurusin rumah dan anak, dan ada juga yang emg harus jadi wanita karir, tipikal ce single di kota gede yang hidup free. Tapi kenapa yah kadang seorang istri isa ngayal "Coba kalau ak masi single dan bebas..." dan sebaliknya, seorang ce lajang bakal memimpikan nemuin co yang tepat, bukan cuman muter dari satu co ke co laen trs merit dan menetap dengan org itu. Thats the funny thing. Rumput tetangga emg selalu kelihatan lebih hijau. So.... i guess, guys, whoever you are, whatever you do know, or however your fate is, just try to be happy with you! Keep remember, everyone's got their own happiness, so are you =) and me.

My 19th Birthday

2007-10-25T20:29:00.000+07:00

"Happy Birthday to me....
Happy Birthday to me..."

Yea....!!! Today is my birthday......!!!!! Tepatnya yg kesembilanbelas... doain yahhh....moga2 Mita tambah keren, tambah cantik, tambah imut, tambah dewasa, hihihi... maksa amat nyuruh orang ngedoainnya yah.... :d satu lagi, saya masih membuka kiriman comment di friendster, bagi yang mau mengucapkan happy besde atau mengirim kartu ucapan, saya terima dengan senang hati, dan seluruh ucapan yang masuk akan menjadi milik redaksi =D

Halah halah, tapi susahnya, walopun ini hari ultahku yang seharusnya berbahagia sejahtera ini, mood ku lagi gampang banget berubah, huhu... secara lagi PMS. Sekarang emg ak lg ceria gini, tp td di kantor sempet bad mood and feel totally loser... and lonesome... hiks..... Mungkin ak masi dalam tahap penyesuaian diri aja sih dengan lingkungan kerja yang baru, dan jujur aja td ak kesel gara2 anak2 klu ngomong emg ga pake otak (maap jika bahasa yang saya pakai sedikit kasar kali ini... =p ) seenaknya aja ngomongin orang yang engga2, huhuhu... emang nya mereka gak ngaca apa gaya mereka aja totally ndeso?????? dasar @#%&&@$%&*!!!!!!!

Hueeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh................ Akhirnya lega sudah mengeluarkan unek2 disini........ =)

Tapi, betewe... I'm really thanks God, He still gimme place in this beautiful world, walo kadang si kayak lagunya M2M.... "Sometimes you just feel like the tight pants that you have don't fit, sometimes guys just make you sick, and you lookin for something to kick. You feel so lost in this pretty world, that how is sometimes feel, to be a ... GIRL"

See? But however.. ak tetep bersyukur banget.... ak isa ada disini, pny keluarga yg sayang sama ak..punya hunny yg jg cinta banget sama ak, pny kerjaan yang bagus, well hello??? ak seharusnya bersyukur banget kan??? =) Mungkin juga ini saatnya buat ak berpikir lebih dewasa, gak moody lagi, mau nerima kritikan orang lain, dan membangun diriku lagi dan lagi biar lebih baik. Karena ak tau.... ak punya masa depan yang cerah....!!!! ^_^

CIAYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1st Anniversary

2007-09-10T09:52:00.000+07:00

Yup.
This is the day i've been waiting for so long.
Today is
my first anniversary with my luvly hunny.

Ini juga sekaligus pemecah rekor pacaran terlama ku, ha, dr dulu si emg uda yg ini yg paling lama, tp ttp aja, ternyata kek gini ya rasanya pacaran sampe staon... hehe..
Kinda sad actually, soal na dia ga isa kesini, soal na ak sendirian aja, and this day is just like another day,
but... i really hope that we can talk on phone today, gimana gimana, ini kan hari yg spesial ya kan?? Hari yg ga bakal keulang lagi... for my entire life (halah, pdhl klu dipikir setiap hari si juga ga bakal keulang lagi yahh?)
Tapi.... by the way....
I do really really really hope, klu ak ga cuman bakal ngerayain setaon, dua taon, tiga taon, ak mau this would last until eternally..................
AMIN.......

Istri Harus Tunduk Kepada Suami (?!)

2007-09-09T17:06:00.000+07:00

That's it.

Itu Firman Tuhan pagi ini yang ak denger dr Pdt. Dr. Ishak Daniel, M.Th. Ayat semacam itu ada cukup banyak di Alkitab, salah satunya di Efesus pasal 5, ayat berapa ak lupa. Pdt. Ishak td pagi ngomongin cukup jelas ttg masalah itu.. katanya itu adalah PERATURAN MUTLAK untuk membangun keluarga yang di Berkat i Allah.

Wow... it's his words like slap me.. selama ini, kayaknya ak (kayaknya..) uda cukup nurut sama dia, yep, org yg bakal jd suamiku.. walopun kadang ak masi mentingin egoku sendiri. Emang itu kelemahan ce, menenggelamkan egonya, demi.. kebahagiaan rumah tangga. Dan peraturan itu mutlak.. thats really mean "tunduk" dalam segala sesuatu, apapun itu.

Gosh that's made me feel kinda guilty.. masalahnya bbrp hari lalu ak sempet bertengkar sama co ku gara2 masalah boleh atau gak na ak cat rambut, ak ga mau dengerin dia, ak yg egois... (to my beloved hunny,... please forgive me.. sigh..)

Dan sekarang... setelah denger penjelasan dr Pak Ishak, ak uda yakin, kalau itu emg yg Tuhan mau. Dan ak mau dong nurutin apa kata Big Daddy ku. Mulai sekarang, ak mau belajar tunduk sama "suamiku" dalam hal apapun... Kan ga ada salahnya belajar dr sekarang, bsk klu uda merit beneran kan isa di praktekin bener2, hehe.

Tapi... syarat itu ga berlaku satu pihak aja, di lain pihak, for sure, ada syarat juga buat co-co.. yaitu, mereka harus mengasihi (baca : mencintai) satu wanita aja seumur hidup mereka, yaitu.. sang istri tercinta lah. Disitu Tuhan jg tau kelemahan para co, Tuhan tau klu co-co paling suka ngecengin ce cantik (haha, bener ga??) dan susah banget buat mereka untuk mengasihi satu org ce aja, SEUMUR HIDUP. Itu harga yg harus mereka bayar, agar dpt perkawinan yang menurut perintah-Nya.

Well... we may not a perfect human, but we can try to do that right? To do what He said? Karena ada firman : "Carilah dahulu Kerajaan Allah dan kebenarannya, maka semuanya itu akan ditambahkan kepadamu"
:)

Dreams

2007-07-10T19:51:00.000+07:00

Cause baby 
anywhere the wind blows 
I will follow you 
It seems 
That in my life 
I still believe in dreams 
Where you are is where I'll be 
It's all that really matters to me
( John Waite - In Dreams )


Never mind what people say,
hold your head high and turn away
With all my hopes and dreams 
I will believe, even though it seems far from me
I won’t give up I'll keep it up, and look into the sky 
I will achieve 
On my knees I will always believe
( Yolanda Adams - I Believe )

Akhir2 ini ak aneh mungkin... Abis na, ak tau2 aja mbayangin gimana yah klu bsk ak merit, atau yah.. live together with my love lah..
Tadi aja, liat buku2 resep, jd pengen banget belajar masak, belajar bikin kue, cookies, macem2, jd isa masakin suamiku. Hehe.. tu kan, you may think that i'm completely strange,.. tapi.. punya mimpi itu sah-sah aja kan?
Nah,.. temen ku tadi langsung bilang "plis deh ah, you're just 18.., can you please thinking about anything else? except marriage??"
well hello?? is that wrong? to have dreams like that??? Emg na pikiran ku ketuaan yah dibanding anak2 seumurku? well, tmen ku aja udah ada yg merit, lg hamil, atau bahkan dah pny anak. So is that wrong just to have a dream?
Dreams are dreams, and org berhak dong bermimpi.. iya kan? Sebenr na,, ak si gak peduli orang mau omg apa.. i just will enjoy my life.. whether is's single life, or even marriage life :) mama ku aja nikah umur 17 dan diumur 18, kek ak sekarang, yang mo 19, dia dah pny anak ak, anak umur 2 taon. Nah loh.. keturunan kali yah?? hehehehe.. klu ini si tambah ngaco deh ak... :P

However.. today is 10 Months Anniversary with my luvly hunny... i really wants to enjoy this moment, even if maybe.. kedepan nya kita mungkin bakal banyak rintangan juga.. tp ak yakin kok .. ak ma dia bakal baek2 aja... :) we have God, we have love, and i'm sure we'll be fine..

My TwiNs...???!!!!

2007-06-28T19:11:00.000+07:00

Pertama liat, sumpe ak bengong.
Maksud ku... kok isa yah miriiiiiiiiiip bgt ma ak? Kek lagi ngaca?

Hohoho,.. binun yah...? Gini2 cerita ne, ak pas lg nge add fs na adek sepupuku, trs di friendlist nya dia ak liat foto yg i think looks like me??? trs ak buka aja profil na, dan bener.. jreeeng.. emg mirip.. Beuh, bener deh kek kembaran ku banget,,... yah mirip2 na kek Marcell sama Mischa gitu deh.. hihi.. perbandingan na maksa...

Tuh liat ja gambar yg disebelah, wahai teman2 ku, khusus na yg uda pernah ketemu sama ak, liat de, mirip gak????? Itu bukan ak loh... itu ak ambil dr fs nya ce yg mirip ma ak itu, nama na Vallen. Ada yg kenal gak ma dia?? Ak jd pengen ketemu sama ni anak satu, trs jalan bareng, nah pasti deh dikirain sodara kembar... hehe. Liat ja, mirip mulai dr rambut, mata, idung, sama pipi na isa sama....

Ehm, tapi ada kok beda na dia ma ak,.. satu, pipi dia lebih chubby kek na, trs ga ada bolong na, klu pipiku kan ada bolong na, hehe itu si minjem istilahna hunny kuw, kata e pipi ku bolong ^^.

Tapi emg ada yah, orang yang bener2 mirip sama kita, sekalipun kita ga ada hubungan darah apapun sama orang itu. Eh tapi ada deng hubungan darah na, sama2 keturunan Adam dan Hawa gitu.... he... tp kenapa yah Tuhan kok isa nyiptain dua orang yg mirip? Tapi ya pasti ttp beda, org kembar identik aja isa beda kok...

Dunno, dunno... it's just a God's mistery...

can you see that you are the owner of my heart?

2007-06-28T19:01:00.000+07:00

At this time, i miss my hunny so so so much... somehow i think how can i live without him? how can i survive? kadang2 sampe2 mikir, apa ak ne yah yg terlalu kek gini? is he feels the same way? abis na setiap dia ngasi offline message kok singkat2 bgt.. tapi tapi tapi... setelah dipikir2 lagi.. ya itulah dia, ya itu hunnyku tersayang.. halah halah...
tp iya kok.. mungkin ja dia emg susah buat ngungkapin na lwt kata2 atau gimana, tp yg lebih penting buat ak kan bukti na, maksud na dr sikap na, from his body language i know him, i can see him trough his heart... hmm... jd inget, pertama naek kereta ma dia pas sek-sek an banget waktu itu abis lebaran, but he treats me so sweet. I mean, i really know and i really can feel that this guy can protect me, no matter what happen, that how i feel, klu inget itu sekarang, jd senyum2 sendiri, trs ujung2 nya jd tambah kangen.. uda hampir sebulan kan ga ketemu.. tp bsk mo janjian maen seal bareng, asik asik, uda kangen banget soal na..
duh tu kan, mungkin ak yg terlalu berlebihan atau gimana? somebody please tell me...??

LoL

2007-06-07T19:48:00.000+07:00

A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.

The wife answers :
"Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"

The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl".
The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks:
"So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you."
"And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" She asked.
"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"
"Oh, that" she said "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl !!!"

Moral of the story: Don't tempt a woman,
they are far too intelligent than you can imagine!

Believe-or-Not... LDR again

2007-06-07T19:18:00.000+07:00

Sometimes it feels kinda strange.... i have been with my bf for 7 months already, be with him everyday.. but now, we must get in long distance love AGAIN..!
Ah.... but somehow i'm sure that we will be fine... it just.. eh, we gonna be 9 months annivessary soon, kinda sad that there is no him besides me..?
But we still can meet at internet, or by phone, or email, or sms, rite??
I trust him, and neither do him.
So i know that we will be fine...

'D Wedding Dress

2007-04-13T17:03:00.000+07:00

Every girl must have dream about their wedding dress...

Dan sekarang, entah kenapa, tau2 ak jd kepikiran ttg My Wedding Dress. Aihh... I can imagine that on my mind, jelas ak mau yg simpel ajah, yg off shoulder pasti keren, trs rok na jgn panjang2, pendek di dpn trs belakangnya panjang gitu, soal na ak kan ga mau kepanasan. Bahan nya... jelas yg soft trs warna putih =) tp pink jg kayak nya keren yah.. hehehehehe..

Jangan lupa harus pake tudung, iyah HARUS pake pokok na, kan seru bgt tuh. Tudung na pake tiara gitu, atau bahkan flowery tiara, waw.. pasti keyen... Buket bunga jg ga boleh ketinggalan, musti pake acara "lempar buket"=D

Yah, cukuplah imajinasi ku sampe outfit ajah, ga perlu sampe acara2 dll na.. itu si nanti aja klu uda pny duit, kekekekekeke. Planning jelas ada, tp serahin aja lah sama My Greatest Lord, Dia tau kok apa yg terbaik buat ak =)

Ah ya hari selasa kemaren jg 7th months nya ak sama Kishidou, em, ga jarang juga loh kita bertengkar, malah mungkin cuman gara2 masalah sepele. Ah tp gpp, dengan gini ak baru bener2 ngerasain suka duka nya org pacaran, disitu kan seninya.. :p

Setengah Taon... Yee-Haa...!

2007-03-10T20:05:00.000+07:00

"... once upon a time, I only imagine this
but now you're mine..."

How time running on so fast? Kayaknya, baru aja kemaren, ak chatting di hari minggu sambil jaga, trs sama mas edonk dimarahin abis senyum2 sendiri kek org aneh... hihihi... yea, in that day,.. ak jadian sama Kishidou., klu mau tau cerita lengkap nya silahkan baca blog ku edisi sebelom na :P

I just can't describe how happy i am. To have someone with you, who loves you and be with you everyday, it's just so amazing. Ak juga mau give my fully thanks to my one and only savior Jesus Christ. Without Him, i know i would never meet Kishidou and all...

Hihihi... ak kek lg ngapain ajah, kek lg dapet penghargaan Ammy Awards ajah :P biarin ah sekali2 boleh kan :D oh ya ini malem minggu juga ak lagi jaga, tp gpp, i'll celebrate it with him in this internet cafe, hehe.

Oh ya, barusan ak juga personally being blessed, very blessed. Gini ceritanya, td kan ak sama Kishidou janjian di greja, eh dia ga dateng2 sampe jam 7 kurang, padahal ak jam 7 harus uda ada di wnet. Ak uda bingung banget... ngga tau musti gimana kan? soalnya Kishidou jg g tau klu ak hari ini jaga. Trs ak cerita sama Om Yo, dia tuh kek "papa rohani" ku gitu, dia bilang, "Ga bakal ada apa2, udah sana km ke warnet. Percaya aja sama ak.."

Y udah ak langsung meluncur ke warnet, walopun iya ak deg2 an banget, ak takut ada apa2 sama Kishidou. Soalnya hape Kishidou juga di bawa ak jd otomatis ak ga isa hubungin dia sama sekali kan. Trs ga lama tau2 hape nya Kishidou bunyi, ternyata Kishidou, dia ada di greja. Huhuhuhu, sumpah langsung legaaaaaaa banget rasanya. Bener2 langsung pengen tereak, "Thx God..!" hehehe

Sekarang, Kishidou lg ak mintain tolong ngembaliin kaset sama beliin eskrim.. hehe... pengen makan es krim. Ya udah, have a nice night everyone, God Bless!

"the rain's pouring down......

2007-02-23T16:47:00.000+07:00

... and i wish i could found a deep hole on the ground"

Kinda missing this blog actually... lama banget ak ga nulis post... that's because ak lama ga ke warnet, dan hal itu disebabkan tak lain dan tak bukan karena ak abis kecelakaan.
-NO KIDDING-

Yup... ak beneran kecelakaan, well, ditabrak lebih tepat nya. Kejadiannya? Pulang kerja siang sekitar jam 2, ak sama Kishidou tapi ak yg didepan coz Kishidou lg rada sakit gitu. Ak mau belok di bunderan suatu jalan raya (should i mention it? even if i did, i'm not sure you guys will know it), ak mau belok, kecepatan ku paling cuman sekitar 30km/jam, tau2 dari kanan ada motor kenceng banget ke arah ku.. en, yea, tau2 semua gelap en terasa jumpalitan (persis kek waktu maen roller coaster) dan tau2 dengan ajaibnya ak uda ada di tanah dengan jarak lumayan jauh dr motorku yg uda jatoh terguling, dan badan ku semua sakit.

Spontan, ak nangis (hey! not that mean ak cengeng atau apa yahhh) trs langsung digotong org2 ke becak, abis ak beneran ga isa berdiri, langsung ke RS terdekat. Di RS... that's my first experience being in IGD karena kecelakaan. Badan ku bener2 sakit semua, and i can't stop crying, lucky me i have Kishidou with me. He keeps says that it's all gonna be alright and makes me feel so secure (nah lo, kumat deh diriku, heueuehuehueheue).

Ak sempet di rontgen dll, tapi gpp.... walo pun tulang belakang (maksud na daerah tulang ekor alias pantat, weeeeee...) ku sakiiiiiiit banget, kemungkinan besar itu cuman gara2 kebentur aspal dan becoz ak jatoh nya duduk *sigh...* Ditambah beberapa (banyak si) lecet2 di sekujur tubuh (halah) yang paling sebel si di bagian kening atas ku jg ada lecet yg LUMAYAN gede gara2 yah itu kegesek aspal pas ak jatoh helm ku kan lepas dan pergi meninggalkan ku :p yang pasti si, bakal berbekas, untung ga keliatan karena isa ditutupin rambut, tp kan tetep ajah,..... hiks...

Sementara itu org yg nabrak ak??? Pas di rumah sakit dia sempet dateng sama polisi2 (bayangin aja ak jatoh nya pas di sebelah pos polisi..!) en sempet ngomong sama Kishidou kalo dia bakal ganti rugi, dll. YANG AK HERAN, besok nya dia ngomong nya beda lagi... dia BILANG ak yg nabrak plat no nya dia, DAN ak yg ngebut. GUBRAK. Ak langsung speechless, plis deh.. gimana bisa dia MEMUTARBALIKAN fakta kek gitu. Dia bilang sama mama ku, klu polisi di pos ngeliat persis kejadian nya (oh yea?! emg na tu polisi yg di pos ngeliatin ak dr pertama??! Plis deeeeeeeeeeeee.....!!!! >_<)

Terus, dia ngasi duit 100k sama mama buat ganti biaya RS (btw, dia sama sekali ga jatoh.. cuman ak aja... sampe motorku muter dan ak kebanting lumayan jauh). NAH, itu tambah bikin ak curiga ajah, klu EMANG BENER ak yg nabrak dia ngapain dia pake ngasi biaya RS ku segala? Dan kalau EMANG AK YANG NABRAK, gimana bisa dia ga jatoh?!!

Ckckck,.... Ada bukti kah klu dia ga nyuap tuh polisi2? Bukan nya lebih gampang buat dia nyogok polisi2 itu, daripada ganti biaya2 RS ku semua PLUS biaya perbaikan motorku?! Yang bikin ak tambah curiga sama tuh bapak2 satu (selain mukanya yg mirip serigala berbulu domba of course) pas hari senen ke polres , dia sama sekali ga ngasi "uang terimakasi" ke polisi yg ngurusin kasusku (bukan polisi yang ngeliat ak tabrakan itu loh) padahal mamaku sendiri aja uda ngasi amplop lantaran ga enak sama polisi itu yg bilang "selanjutnya kebijaksanaan ibu ajah"

HUEH... indonesia, indonesia.... sebenernya ak pengen banget protes, ak pengen banget buktiin klo bukan ak yg nabrak, tp kalu ak ngotot, that's mean more a lot of money,... *sigh again...* Andai ak kaya kek Paris Hilton, wuih.. itu orang satu bakalan ak kejar! Bukan masalah ganti rugi, ak cuman mau dia ngaku klo emg dia salah, dan DIA EMANG SALAH!!!

Tapi yaw sudah lah.. mau gimana lagi to? Yang penting sekarang ak uda isa beraktivitas lagi, uda isa kerja lagi, uda isa maen lagi (walo masi lecet2). Tapi ak jd g ke wnet lama, sampe2 ga sempet bilang happy valentine to all my friends... sorry yah guys... but everyday is a valentine day rite? :D

Have a nice day everyone... God Bless... :)

tHe FiftH moNtH

2007-02-11T18:20:00.000+07:00

sumtime i just wonder, how time is running so fast.... now it's already 5 months with me and Kishidou....

ga kek bulan sebelum na yg ada kejadian yg cukup gempar, bulan ini si ok ok ajah, malahan ak sempet lupa gara2 saking tegang nya mau cetak KHS.. duwh, sampe sekarang ak masi lom tau brp nilaiku, coz gara2 Jakarta banjir jd nya nilai nya blom isa diliat.. deg deg an, moga2 jangan her deh...

btw soal kul, ak bakal mutasi ke kelas sore di smstr berikut nya,.. soal nya ak mo pindah kerja. Well, officially sekarang ak kerja di 2 tempat, di RS sama di wnet, tp akhirnya kek na ak bakal milih kerja di RS na ajah coz jam kerja nya lebi santai en enak ajah, tp berhubung klu di RS itu masuk pagi mulu, ya jd ak musti mutasi kelas ku ke kelas sore, but it's ok, i think things will goin better.. hehe

bentar lagi juga valentine.. aih, ngapain ya? still don't have any plans actually..... hmmm lemme think about that later.

trus abis valentine bakal sinchia... awww... just hope ak bakalan dapet angpao, hihihi... ngarep deh ak... syapa juga yg bakal ngasi ak angpao yah? enakan pas masi kecil dulu, keliling2 rumah, cuman pai pai trs bilang "selamat tahun baru...!" langsung deh dapet angpao.. hehe. My childhood... miss it... lol.

Wah, that made we back to my first sentences, how time is running so fast. Jadul ngomongin ini? ih biarin! :P abis bener siy, kek na baru kemaren kita jd anak2 yg isa nya manja2, trs masuk sd, trs smp, trs sma, and here i am now.... jd kepikiran, what will i become 10 years later? being a career woman? or be a housewife? apa ak uda pny anak yah? berapa kira2? haha.. so many question, but that is life isn't it?? life is short.... so enjoy life...

when you're down to nothing, God is up to something

2007-02-01T19:08:00.000+07:00

This is beautiful! Try not to cry.

She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: "How is my little boy ? Is he going to be all right ? When can I see him ?"

The surgeon said, "I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it."

Sally said, "Why do little children get cancer ? Doesn't God care any more ? Where were you, God, when my son needed you ?"

The surgeon asked, "Would you like some time alone with your son ? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university."

Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. "Would you like a lock of his hair ?" the nurse asked.

Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.

The mother said, "It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. "I said no at first, but Jimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom." She went on, "My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could."

Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car.

The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son's room.

She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.

It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said:

"Dear Mom, I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say "I Love You". I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD ! And guess what, Mom ? I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom ? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him 'Where was He when I needed him ?' "God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is with all His children. Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool ? I have to give God His pen back now. He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great.

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone. I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery ! How about that ?

Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me."

taken from : http://www.christianster.com

Happiness

2007-01-31T20:57:00.000+07:00

Dua hari ini ak lg hepi.. kek bakal ada sesuatu yg bakal terjadi. Tp apa yah??? Aneh nya sepupu ku malah bilang dia lg ada bad feeling... nah loh.. kok isa bertentangan gini siy? Ak na good feeling, dia nya bad feeling.
Wah sebener na ak g tau mao nulis apa di blog, cuman yah buat ngisi2 waktu ajah, abis lg bosen lg nungguin Kishidou g dateng2... hum... let's talk about... happiness.
Happiness, is it just a human feelings that nobody can describe how it feels actually. Sama ajah kek feeling2 yang laen. Such as love, anger, sadness, ect ect. How can we know if we feel happy? Maybe we feel happy klo kesandung duit sekoper, atau menang undian semilyar, atau katakanlah cinta kita diterima sama org yang dari dulu kita kejar2. Hehe.
Is that happy means?
Actually, we can choose to be happy, or to be NOT happy. How come? I mean.. look at us... Kita adalah tokoh utama dalam cerita kita masing2, dan orang2 disekitar kita adalah pemeran pembantu; padahal kalo kita pikir, mereka juga adalah tokoh utama, tentu saja dalam cerita (baca : hidup) mereka sendiri.
Kita bangun pagi tadi, kita ada disini, mungkin baca tulisan ini, kita masih bernafas, itu adalah suatu ANUGERAH. Is that rite? Walau pun setiap manusia pasti lah punya masalah. Bahkan banyak yang masalah na semakin banyak begitu memasuki tahun 2007 ini. But hey, look... we're still alive, we can still breathe the fresh air, we still can feel so much feelings.
Don't you think that YOU ARE BLESSED?
Iya, ak ga muna. Tetep ajah, ak suka menggerutu, marah2, dan merasa g puas atas ak apa adanya, atau feeling desperate with my problems. Tapi, bukankah kita masi bisa menyelesaikan masalah itu? Setiap masalah, apapun itu kan pasti ada jalan keluarnya. So why not smile and try to enjoy your day? Take a deep breath.. and let you think positive... =)
We may have a big big problem. But why not try to say "Thanks God" and just believe... you will feel MUCH MUCH BETTER.

ToDaY...

2007-01-25T19:00:00.000+07:00

Hari ini ujian DBMS, setelah dengan sukses belajar selama setengah jam, dan 2 setengah jam laen nya untuk bobo siang, maka bisa dipastikan banyak yg g tau pas ujian. Hehe... sukur deh ada yg nyantel satu dua di otak, yah asal g sampe her ajah.. kan males bgt tuh...
Besok tinggal ujian hari terakhir,... akuntansi! OMG... semoga ga kek ujian UTS kemaren, yg bener ajah, ak ngerasa isa ngerjain gitu ternyata dapet na D..!! What a shame.... :(
Yang bikin parah na, UTS kemaren ternyata banyak bgt jawaban ku yg ga kebaca OCR, berhubung ujian na pake LJK. Entah apa yg salah, ak yg g isa mbulet2 in atau pensil ku, gara2 ak pake Faber Castell.. hiks hiks... Just pray ujian sekarang bakal lebih baek dr ujian kemaren. Kan isa gawat klu IP ku g sampe 2,75?! Ah.. ak si positif aja isa dapet IP 3 lebih, hihi...
Nah, forget about exams.... Ayo cerita yg seneng2 ajah... gini gini.. abis ujian kan libur sebulan lebih neh... yg pasti isa santai2 di rumah, hihi.. maen suikoden sampe tamat.. target ku mah namatin suikoden V sama mo maen suikoden 3. Trs penasaran ma harvest moon, sama playboy mansion.. haha... vocation... please come soon...!!! ^_^
dah ah.... mo chat dulu ma anak2... :D

Wad Is "The Wedding" Mean?

2007-01-24T18:58:00.000+07:00

Ehm, banyak orang takut dengan yg nama nya komitmen, dan komitmen diatas segala komitmen adalah merit alias nikah. What's the reason behind marriage? Jawaban yang langsung ada di pikiran adalah "cinta" but hey.. that's too abstract, isn't it?
Gimana klu feeling? When your feeling says you wants marry this someone, than marry him/her. Hehe... gampang na si gitu... tp apa si logika nya di balik org merit ituh? Let me try to write it here...

Menikah itu seperti bermain kaki tiga.
Itu lho, permainan jaman 17 Agustusan ketika kita harus memilih partner yang kaki sebelahnya diikat ke salah satu kaki kita dan berdua musti mencoba berlari sama-sama, sambil nahan malu
dan berusaha nggak jatuh di tengah- tengah ibu-ibu satu RT yang histeris.

It's like the game in the sense that your partner and you understand each other perfectly where to go.

Your partner and you understand that you need to walk together without anyone left behind, dragged behind, tailed behind, or holding you from behind. You know that you need to harmonize your path together.

Your partner and you agree on how tight the rope should be tying your legs together, either loose, considerably tight, or barely feel it; and understand that the rope is there not to keep either of you from doing something else, but to give you a chance to do it together and win the day.

Last but not least, both of you agree that when something got rough, blaming the other for falling down will not do any good. Picking up the other's shoulder and support him/her to keep on walking is the only way to get to the finish line.

source at friendster bulbo by my friend

Paris Hilton

2007-01-19T17:53:00.000+07:00

Many people may hate her.
Some call her a slut.
But i call her... "a nice bitch"

I Luv Paris
Haha, bukan berarti ak lesbi atau apa, tapi.. Paris bener2 keren..
Wanna know why??
All the worlds may hate her, but she keeps smiling.
Isn't that cool?

Dia jd seorang yg kontroversial setelah kemunculan "perdana" film biru nya dengan Rick Salomon.
Singkat kata, banyak yg ga suka sama dia, banyak yg ngejelek-jelekin dia. Hampir semua berita2 mengenai Paris Hilton tuh berita yg ga sedap.
Banyak org mencibir saat Paris berencana mengeluarkan album perdana nya dia "PARIS" dengan singel "Stars Are Blind". And guess what? Album itu meledak dipasaran. Bahkan lagu Stars Are Blind nya Paris pernah ak jadiin lagu kebangsaan ku, hehe.

Belum lagi acara "Simple Life" yang dia pandu bersama Nicole Richie. Acara itu buat ku pribadi keren banget. Bikin tambah semangat, hehehe.
Satu kalimat khas Paris yg sering muncul di acara itu,
"I love you bitch.."
Tau ga yg bikin ak semangat klu abis nonton Simple Life? Abis di acara situ, keliatan bgt kalau Paris dan Nicole bener2 tau cara nya menikmati hidup. Itu yg bikin ak terkesan, yg ngebikin ak pengen untuk menikmati hidup ini, just like Paris and Nicole did.

So Paris, please keep glowing because you still have a big fan, like me..!

4 months with Kishidou

2007-01-10T19:52:00.000+07:00

Yeph.. hari ini ak pas 4 bulan sama Kishidou.. g rasa juga.. =)
Happy? Yea i am.. tp hari ini bener2 cape.... kek na lebih enak klu ak cerita dr kejadian kemaren siang deh ya.. gini, kishidou bilang ada yg mo di omongin, ak jd penasaran kan ada apa. tp dia g mo kasi tau akhirnya ya udah ak kesana malem nya, trs ak tanya mo omg apa. dia blng, dia mo tanya2 ma ak, ak tambah penasaran...
trs akhirnya dia tanya, yah intinya, dia tau klu ak tuh selama ini suka ngerokok diem2... well, guilty banget sih, tp suer, akhir2 ini tuh ak uda jarang bgt ngerokok. yah, then i promise him klu ak g bakal ngerokok lagi. dan ak sungguh2 kok sama janji ku. ak g akan ngerokok lagi.
trs, abis itu, dia tanya lagi... yg ini bener2 bkn ak shock... dia tanya... "sebelom na dah pernah ML blm?" gubrak. beneran ak kaget banget... dia g mikir klu ak ini "ce gampangan" kan??? itu satu2 nya yg ada di pikiran ku. trs ak kasi tau dia, klu jangankan ML, first kiss ku ajah sama dia. gimana mau ML sama org laen coba?? kek g tau aja klu cerita cintaku selalu berakhir tragis, hehe..
mmmmmm....
trs ak ganti tanya, klu dirinya pernah ga sebelom na? dia jawab... "pernah". gubrak dua kali. sampe disitu ak brenti tanya2, plis deh, ngebayangin dia ma ce laen ajah dah bkn ak sakit setengah mati... ak jd tau bener dah perasaan nya kaoru sama tomoe, atau kagome sama kikyo... huhuhu, sakit sih, but he's mine rite now ya kann???
trs,... yg bkn ak sedih bgt kemaren malem... ak tanya ma dia emg bibir ku keliatan item bgt? coz sebelom na dia blng bibir ku tambah item.. duh, dia jawab "iya". bener dah, pas dia jawab itu rasa na sakiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit bgt.... maksud ku... ak g ngerasa kok klu bibir ku segitu item na.. org ak ngerokok aja jarang2 kann??
trs ak otomatis jd manyun gt, pas dia tanya ada apa, ak jawab aja klu ak sebel abis kek na ak jd jelek bgt.. yg ada dipikiran ku pas itu sih ak pengen dia blng ak g jelek, ak pengen dia blng ak cantik... just like the others girl will think too.. tp dia malah blng gini,
"lho kok jelek sih? klo jelek kan ya ak g sayang? lha karena ak sayang makanya ak ngomong gini"
and akhirnya.. ak pulang, ngerasa klu diri ku ini paliiiiinngggg jelek... abis percuma kan klu org laen muji2 ak blng ak cantik tp co ku ndiri g pernah blng ak cantik???? ok.... nulis blog ini aja bkn ak sedih lagi.. =( tapi...... ak pengen cerita biar lega...
di rumah nya, ak sms kishidou, ak blng "klu ak berubah jd jelek, will you still love me?" tau jawaban nya? kata nya "i luv you bkn karena cantik, i luv you becoz the way you love me. that made me luv you" ok ok, ak tau itu jawaban yang "memuaskan" but still... ak kan pengen dibilang cantik sama co ku sendiri,...!!!
hhhhhhhhhhhh............. ambil nafas dulu...............
pokok na,... ak bertekad.. i wanna be a beautiful girl... for my bf, td malem ak mikir, ak harus berubah jd secantik apa sih biar dia bisa bener2 blng klu ak cantik??? i know it's not about outer appereance krn itu isa ilang. tp ttp aja kan... u girls pasti tau lah perasaan ku...
i just wanna be perfect for him...
trs hari ini, hasil ujian UTS ku keluar... en jujur, ak g puas, bener2 g puas, bayangin ajah akuntansi ak isa dpt D... wew... padahal rasa nya ak isa ngerjain semua?? emg si ada yg dpt A, tp kan cuma satu mata kuliah, yg gampang lagi. makanya ak bener2 g puas. pokok na di smstr 2 ak mau bener2 belajar..!!
td siang bener na ak sampe mikir... ak dah ga kuat lagi, td malem not such a good nite, dan siang na ak dibikin tambah sebel.. mana dr kul ak langsung kerja lagi.. cape banget.. ya sampe sekarang ini.... :(

tp, above it all... i must still gave thanks to God... rite? at least, nothing change. i still have kishidou, i still have ppl luvs me... and most of all, i have Jesus with me. oh ya, satu ak lom cerita.. td malem jg ada kok kejadian yg bkn ak bahagia juga.. pertanyaan keempat na kishidou. dia blng pertanyaan na si buat setaon lagi, tp ak blng sekarang aja tanya nya, tar ak jawab na setaon lagi. hihi. and yea, as you can guess, he asks me "would you marry me?"
hahahaha.. can't believe that actually,.. lol.
ah, tar malem bentar lg jg dia mo kesini, jemput ak soal na td motor ku dibawa sama kishidou...
sekarang.. ak dah lega dah curhat di blog.. trs hal terakhir yg pengen ak bilang.. "maybe sometimes i feel so down. but i know that You are always with me... thank you Jesus..."

Cape de.......!!!!!!

2006-12-07T18:49:00.000+07:00

Aih aih,... cape bgt hari ini.. suer suer.... td abis latian band.. latian nya si fun2 ajah, enak malahan, cuman ya itu, langsung brangkat kerja jd ne cape bgt.
Btw, bsk ak bakal manggung tanggal 22, duh deg2 an deh.. cuman ya udah jalanin aja kali yah :P trs juga uda nemu lagu2 keren.. salah satu nya ak bakal nyanyi lagu nya Audy yg "arti hadirmu"

keren loh lirik na..

Bunga bunga layu, tak mengapa asal kau tumbuh disampingku.
Malam telan cahaya, tak mengapa asal kau sinari cintamu.
Mimpi buruk menyapa, tak mengapa asal kau ada dipelukku.
Tak pernah berjumpa, tak mengapa asal kau ada dikhayalku.

Segala bujuk rayumu buat sejuta ragu.
Jantungku pun memacu...

disini kuberdiri …
mencoba mengerti .. arti hadirmu.
Mengerti sinar diwajahmu.
Mengerti tenangnya jiwaku.
Akhirnya ku mengerti .. diriku memang untuk kau miliki

Stay The Same

2006-11-22T16:27:00.000+07:00

i think... this lyrics motivate me.... kinda like that ^^

Don't you ever wish
You were someone else
You were meant to be
The way you are exactly
Don't you ever say
You don't like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself
You're better off by far
And I hope you always stay the same
'Cause there's nothing 'bout you I would change

I think that you could be
Whatever you wanted to be
If you could realize
All the dreams you have inside
Don't be afraid
If you've got something to say
Just open up your heart
And let it show you the way

Believe in yourself
Reach down inside
The love you find will set you free
Believe in yourself
You will come alive
Have faith in what you do
You'll make it through

Don't change...

Brown Eyes

2006-11-09T22:20:00.002+07:00

Umm... tadi na ini mau ak taro di Morning View, tp ga jadi ah.. maluw... hehehe...
anggep aja ini buat lagu "2 months anniversary" atau klo kata kishidou.. hari totemo ashiteimasu... hehe.. looph u hun...

Remember the first day when I saw your face?
Remember the first day when you smiled at me?
You stepped to me, and then you said to me,
I was the woman you dreamed about.
Remember the first day when you called my house?
Remember the first day when you took me out?
We had butterflies although we tried to hide it,
And we both had a beautiful night.

The way we held each other's hand,
The way we talked, the way we laughed,
It felt so good to find true love
I knew right then and there you were the one

I know that he loves me, cause he told me so
I know that he loves me, cause his feelings show
When he stares at me, you see he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause it's obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trusts
And he's missing me, if he's not kissing me
And when he looks at me his brown eyes tell his soul

Remember the first day, the first day we kissed?
Remember the first day we had an arguement?
We apologized, and then we compromised
And we haven't argued since
Remember the first day we stopped playing games?
Remember the first day you fell in love with me?
It felt so good for you to say those words
Cause I felt the same way too

The way we held each other's hand,
The way we talked, the way we laughed
It felt soo good to fall in love
And I knew right then and there you were the one

I'm so happy, so happy that you're in my life
And baby now that you're a part of me
You showed me,
Showed me the true meaning of love
And I know he loves me

When Dreams Become Reality

2006-11-01T13:31:00.000+07:00

Hari Jumat kemaren, akhirnya, ak ketemu sama Kishidou di Kediri... haha, ak mau cerita dari awal, tadinya deg2 an loh pas nungguin dia di stasiun, tegang bgt deh...........!!

Yah,....... pokok nya we have a wonderful time together..........
Dan hari ini, tadi pagi, Kishidou balik ke Malang. Ak ga tau kenapa, tp ak bener2 ngerasa sediiiiiiiiihhhhhhhhh bgt, ak ga mau Kishidou pergi, ga mau........ Rasanya ak ga rela klo kita cuma ketemu di YM lagi kyk dulu....

Tadinya, Kishidou sebelom ak ketemu dia, cuma di YM, isa ngebuat ak sayang ama dia walau cuma via cyber, dan sekarang, setelah ak bener2 ketemu dia, setelah ak bener2 tau klo dia "real" ak jadi makin susah buat ngelepasin dia, i mean.......... rasanya beda bgt...... beda bgt......

Dia cuma balik ke malang, bukan berarti ak ga isa ketemu dia lagi.... tp ttp aja rasanya bener2 gimanaaaaaaaaaa gt.............. huehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I know that you can hear the rythm of the rain
although we're miles apart I know you feel my pain
I try to be so strong
I try to carry on
but since you left the sun don't seems to shine

My tears are falling on the words you wrote to me
I wish that somehow they could take me where I wanna be
it seems so long ago, you held me when I cried
for now I just pretend you're by my side

Everything that I touch turns to blue
when I'm living in a world without you
I'm going crazy baby I am missing you
Can't imagine all I go through
when I'm living in a world without you
I'm not alone I know that you can feel it too

So Close

2006-10-22T16:57:00.000+07:00

Td malem, jose sms aku.... dia bilang "ak kangen bgt sama km". Hueks!! Plis deh, dan sms itu ga ak balesin. Yang bener aja deh, dia uda nyakitin ak sebegitu nya, trus dng enak nya dia bilang kyk gitu???

"You were everything that i wanted,
we are meant to be, supposed to be..
but we lost it..
and all of the memories so close to me just fade away.."

Sekarang gini, klo ak, uda cinta sama co,
i can give him everything...
tapi, dia malah nyia-nyiain itu.
Dan sekarang, udah terlambat untuk kata maaf

Lagian, I have Kishidou now right?
He is everything that i can expected
Who's the one who besides me when i am scared and when i need someone?
Kishidou... bukan Jose
Jadi, jawaban ku ke Jose udah jelas kan...?
Kishidou, klo kishidou baca ini.... just trust me, that my love is only for you right now. And no one can compare it, termasuk Jose...
Jose udah nyakitin hatiku, tapi Kishidou udah nyembuhin luka itu...
I just love you... the only one... trust me.

At first I was afraid I was petrified
I kept thinking I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights
Just thinking how you've done me wrong and I grew strong
I learned how to get along
And so you're back from outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed my fucking lock
I would have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me
Oh now go, walk out the door
Just turn around
Now, you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with desire?
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh not I, I will survive
As Long as I know how to love,
I know I'll be alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
I will survive,
I will survive

It took all the strength I had just not to fall apart
I'm trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry,
But now I hold my head up high
And you see me with somebody new
I'm not that stupid little person still in love with you
And so you thought you'd just drop by
And you expect me to be free
But now I'm saving all my lovin'
For someone who's lovin' me

Another Quiz ;)

2006-10-19T17:27:00.000+07:00

Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle...

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

MY RESULT:Dream Girl

You’ve got it all – affection, a cool head, a positive attitude, and all that other stuff that guys want their girlfriends to have.

You’re light-hearted, fun, romantic and not too sleazy – a great combination. When you start a relationship, there’s a good chance the guy will totally fall for you, whether he intended to or not. Keep up the great attitude and you’re sure to be a heartbreaker. (Please just try to be gentle.)

Take This Quiz!

HoTTie.... geezzzz

2006-10-19T17:19:00.000+07:00

Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle...

How Hot Are You?

MY RESULT:Scorching Hot

101 degrees and no relief in sight. (No relief from your sexiness, we mean.)

You’re definitely hot. Plus, you love to have fun, and you’re way open to weird, exciting new experiences. And, you don’t get too carried away with yourself – as celestially hot as you are, you’re still pretty down to earth. Anyone would be lucky to know you, let alone get close enough feel some of that heat.

Take This Quiz!

Am I a Good Girl?? Tee-Hee (wink~~)

2006-10-19T17:10:00.000+07:00

Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle...

Are You a Good Girl?

MY RESULT:Always A Surprise

Are you a good girl or a bad girl? No one will ever know for sure.

You give off the impression that you’re totally good, but under the surface, there’s a bad girl waiting to strike. Be careful - you have no idea how hard it can be to have a bad reputation. Like, imagine scoring the hottest guy in school, and the next thing you know, there are lewd photos of you posted all around the school.

Sound enticing? You’ve got to check out this fall’s hottest novel, Good Girls. It’s all about a good girl whose reputation is in danger after she gets into some, uh, compromising situations with her hottie boyfriend.

Be a good girl and read more here!

Take This Quiz!

Tired

2006-10-17T17:59:00.000+07:00

I dunno....
Kyk nya ak mulai ngerasa cape plus jenuh sama hari2 ini,
semua nya sama aja..
pagi kuliah, sore kerja....
akhir2 ini ak sering mikir
"whoa! uda pagi lagi!"

Mungkin ak cuma terlalu cape...
sama kerjaan ini?
Thx God besok hari terakhir kuliah,
mungkin liburan ini...
akhirnya...
i can take a rest...
(walopun masi kerja >.<)

One Month

2006-10-10T17:29:00.000+07:00

Hari ini tanggal 10 Oktober 2006... haha, hari ini... pas sebulan ak "jadian" sama kishidou.
Tadi nya, ak pikir dia ga inget, tp ternyata... dia inget! kishidou bilang hari ini hari "totemo aishiteimasu" heuheuheuehue... geli sendiri pas dia omg itu. tp, jelas, ak happy bgt...
i mean, seberapa banyak sih co yg inget tanggal jadian? apalagi cuma sebulan?? aihh.........

Kishidou.... bener2 baek. It's really like my dreams come true..

It's like he come stepped out from my dream

he cares me much, he know me so good, bahkan dia bener2 bakal dateng ke pwt buat ketemu ak.
i mean, for me he's really perfect..........

what i could ask for more??

ak jg inget, dulu bgt ak pernah mimpiin pangeran ku. He said.. "wait a moment.. tunggu sampai kamu 17 tahun"
yah ak ga inget bgt yg dimaksud sama "my soulmate in my dream" itu, waktu ak 17 tahun atau dia 17 tahun?
hey, bentar lagi ultah ku yg ke 18.. brarti waktu ketemu kishidou ak masih 17 kan??
owh... iya ak ngaku, emg semua co yg pacaran sama ak setahun ini semua nya bikin ak bertanya dlm hati, "could he is the one for me?"

trus gimana dengan kishidou ya?
could he be the one?

Right now, i just feel so happy.... and i hope that this feeling will last eternally...
I hope...

Who Am I?

2006-10-02T18:06:00.000+07:00

Actually, who is me?
And what's people looks in me?
Is there someone who really loves me?
Someone who really cares me?

People may judged me wrong
But i don't care
They don't know me
They don't know the real me

I live my own life
This is my prerogative
I think i'm big enough to take
my own decisions and my own way

A Letter To Kishidou

2006-09-23T16:37:00.000+07:00

Dear Kishidou,
i dunno when will you read this letter, or will i tell you or not that i write this for you.. :)
but i wanna write here all things that i can't tell you directly.
you know, that i have loved you... much. yes, i do.

but.... i can't help myself to afraid.. yes afraid that you will broke my heart.. like the other guys did. geez, you can say i'm paranoid or what... :-S but right now, i already feel that i love you much, ergh, nda tau lah cara omg nya yg bener gimana, but i just hope that you can understand what i feel now. mungkin juga ini yg nama nya trauma? wew, ak juga nda tau.... i can feel your love, yes i can... but i still afraid, coz jose was loved me too, tp ternyata he is just a jerk. ak takut klo feeling ku ini salah... kishidou, can u understand me?
trus juga, ak juga pengen omong, klo ak tuh ya gini apa ada nya, and i hope u can accept me just the way i am... ak yg kadang suka manja, egois, atau cengeng. tp ak juga isa kok jd dewasa, hehe... i'm trying to give you the best i can in me... :) yahh, it's me the way i am... i wonder what do u think about me?
Kishidou, sometimes i feel so glad to have you. abis kishidou tuh bnr2 gimana yah,. baek bgt... ak bener2 jd terharu, coz ga banyak ak nemuin co yg kyk gt ke ak... bener2 udah kyk lagu nya paris hilton,... "i don't mind spending some time just hanging here with you.... coz i don't find too many guys that treat me like you.......... baby you see the real me inside, and i'm satisfied...." :P
hemm... yah, at least ak cuma bisa bilang " i love you, and i hope you love me just the way i am, and that you won't break my heart again." yah yg ak maksud di sini yg bener2 break my heart yah, bukan cuma yg tengkar2 kecil, bukan nya wajar klo bertengkar sekali2, hehe... maksud ku disini break my heart yg bener2 nonjok... yah , tau lah, yg kayak jose lakuin..... :(
ummm......... ya udah deh, segini ajah... :)

XOXO, Mytha -- Oujo

2006-09-19T19:18:00.000+07:00

MySpace Layouts

Kishidou, ehehehehe....

2006-09-14T18:01:00.000+07:00

Um...................... bener2 ga nyangka klo sekarang ak isa jadian ama kk mikuru, suer ga nyangka. apalagi pas maren minggu dia nanya "sapa yg kamu sukai?" wew, i blush in front of pc... geez...
hehehehehe. and getting more blush when he said "totemo aishiteimasu" aih aih.... :">
trus juga pas maren dia nanya2 sama kk aira, owh, it made me so happy, becoz that means he cares me right? sempet deg2 an bgt waktu nanya ma dia, sebener nya ak nih apanya km? duh seneng bgt pas dia jawab pacar.
and he calls me oujo that means princess and i calls him kishidou that means knight. ok, it reminds me with supernova novel, ksatria putri dan bintang jatuh, hahahaha. hey, it's like my dreams come true. iya, dr dulu jaman sd kan ak suka mimpi2 gt klo someday someone will makes me his princess. hahahahahaha.
klo kishidou baca ini juga gpp kok, coz kadang hal2 yg ak tulis di sini adalah hal2 yg ga isa ak ungkapin langsung... :) yah, i just want him to know that i'm happy to have him in my life now..

Promise Ring

2006-09-08T19:04:00.000+07:00

Kisah sepasang cincin.
ak pernah punya sahabat, yg ak pikir dia adalah soul mate ku, tp ternyata dia ilang tanpa jejak.
padahal ak udah beli hadiah ultah nya.. sepasang cincin yg klo disatuin bakal jd bentuk hati.
sempet juga mikir mau kasih ke Jose, tp untung nya Tuhan udah menyadarkan ak duluan klo Jose itu brengsek.
Sekarang, cincin itu masih tersimpan rapi di lemari ku. dan ak bakal kasih cincin itu, buat someone yg bener2 bakal cinta sama ak, yg ga munafik, yg ak yakin murni en tulus sayang sama ak. sekarang ak cuma bakal nunggu, sampai someone itu dateng..... :)

Hurt

2006-09-08T18:57:00.000+07:00

Jose nembak Tira.

satu hal yg terlintas di kepalaku waktu denger tira omg itu. tega bgt? jd yg semua jose omg ke ak, itu BULL SHIT. ak g tw mana yg lebih sakit, diboongin, atau baru sadar sama semua kebodohanku percaya sama buaya kyk gitu. dan yg lebih parah, ak isa ngangenin org kyk gt!! i can't believe how stupid i was. but now it's all is over. udah saat nya ak melangkah, just like i said, he's so yesterday.
yeah, i am strong. tough. and i'll be alright. God is on my side, so i will be ok.

sOmEThiNg I wAnNa TeLL mY Ex....

2006-09-01T21:28:00.000+07:00

This poem... dedicated to Jose, my ex guy. Taken from my fave singer's song... :P (i have forgiven you, don't worry, but i still want you to know this, coz this is what i feel)

So Yesterday

You can change your life, if you wanna
you can change your clothes
but if you change your mind...
well, that's the way it goes

If it's over, let it go and...
come tomorrow it will seems so yesterday
so yesterday
I'm just a bird that's already flown away
Laugh it off and let it go and...
when you wake up it will seems so yesterday
so yesterday
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay

You can say you're bored, if you wanna
you could act real tough
but if you say you're torn
well, i've heard enough

THANK YOU
you made my mind up for me
when you started to ignore me
Do you see a single tear?
but it's not gonna happen here
at least not today....
not today

If you're over me
I'm already over you
If it's all been done
what is left to do?
how can you hang up
if the line is dead
if you wanna walk
I'm a step ahead
if you're moving on
I'm already gone
if the light is off
then it isn't on
at least not today...
not today

and btw,... that guy is fool coz i am a great girl friend... LoL
Wanna See??

You are a Great Girlfriend

When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful
But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself
You're the perfect blend of independent and caring
You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!

Are You a Good Girlfriend?

i am HOT ?! Geezzzzz

2006-08-28T18:05:00.000+07:00

You Play it Cool

You're not in your face, smokin' hot... and it's all by design
You have a carefully crafted cool persona, leaving everyone wanting to know just a little more.

Are You Hot?

Buaya Darat

2006-08-25T16:30:00.000+07:00

Ga nyangka bgt... orang yg selama ini ak anggep co baek2, yg berstatus sebagai co ku, ternyata cuma seorang buaya! ak bener2 ga nyangka, dia isa nyium tira, paksa lagi! ga tau pa sakit nya ak gimana? lom lagi, dia malah mentingin minta maaf sama tira dulu. sialan sialan!!! gimana mungkin si ak ketipu???? sakit nya minta ampun.......................
Ternyata co emang SEMUA nya buaya darat!!! shit, bisa bisa nya jose malah nyuruh ak nyampein maaf nya buat tira. ga punya perasaan!!! ga tau pa ak aja sakit nya minta ampun. bener2 kurang ajar!! jadi selama ini yg dia bilang ke ak, sms2 dia, yg bilang klo dia sayang sama ak, semua puisi2 romantis itu cuma BULL SHIT!!!
Ak musti kuat, ak ga boleh kalah sama buaya2 itu. ga blh....... emang sekarang rasa nya sakit bgt... tp pasti ak bisa bertahan. harus.

I Miss You

2006-08-16T18:06:00.000+07:00

please calling me back Lord...

How i miss you

take me back to Your arms

WHat PeOpLE loOks iN Me...?

2006-08-05T10:14:00.000+07:00

ak lg bete. banget. gara2 di kerja. gara2 mas handoyo jelek. gara2 semua... heran napa si ak isa di cap sbg tukang chatting, hey, maybe i used to be, but i'm not anymore. bahkan ada banyak yg lebih parah dr ak kan. yg ngebetein lg, mas handoyo itu. pokok nya makan ati.........!!
phew............ ak capek. bgt. cuma gimana? orang2 terlanjur liat ak sebagai mita yg ceria. yg nda pernah sedih atau marah. pagi ini sebenernya ak nda mau jaga.. ak pengen istirahat, tp gimana? devy maksa minta digantiin en nda ada lg yg isa gantiin. tau napa, ak bosen bgt kerja disini.. pengen deh cari kerjaan baru. tp dimana en gimana? ak sendiri ga tau..?
tp dipikir2... toh ak punya Yesus. klo Yesus dibelakang ku, ak nda perlu khawatir soal apapun kan? Dia nda bakal membiarkan namaNYa dipermalukan.... gimana2 ak di dunia ini ngebawa nama Yesus, ak jd model Dia di dunia ini. jd ak harus memandang segalanya dr segi positif, iya kan? ak musti berusaha memperbaiki diriku, jadi better person. bukan nya lari dr masalah, karena itu ga bakal menyelesaikan masalah, klo ak lari, seumur hidup ak bakal di cap sebagai pengecut. dan ak bukan pengecut. mungkin ini saat nya buat mempraktekan apa yg dibilang WWJD. What Would Jesus Do. kira2 apa yg bakal Yesus lakuin jika Dia ada di posisiku sekarang? mungkin Dia justru akan mengasihi orang2 yg membenci Dia. iya kan? jd itu yg harus ak lakuin. ak harus mengasihi musuhku. iya, pasti nya itu susah bgt. tp klo ak punya Yesus, apa si yg mustahil?

Yesus Kaulah pembelaku
pada siapa aku harus takut?
Yesus Kau perlindunganku
ku tak gentar menghadapi musuh
sekarang tegaklah kepalaku
hadapi lawanku
yang berada disekelilingku
dan mulutku memuji
bermazmur bagimu
bersorak bagi kebesaranMu

LuV mE mORe...

2006-08-03T20:23:00.000+07:00

right now, i wanna tell you about my boyfriend... uhm, he is cute (i'm serious! he is so damn cute!) and he loves me. oh, you probably will ask me "how can you know? you even never meet him!" yea, that's right. i never meet him, and that's must be so strange for some people.
you can laugh at me, but i can feel it... in his voice, and trough his messages. the only things i wonder is... i love him, but not much. LoL. this is not the kind of joke i tell you, well... sometimes i imagine, how if he is really the one i will spend my entire life with? actually, i can't understand what i feeling about him. it's not like the other love i have feel, i don't feel so crush, or my heart didn't beat up so fast. all i feel is just a comfort... a comfort to know that there is someone out there who really loves me.
but... one night, when i was sick, he called me and he said he's so sorry coz he can't being here with me. and guess what, i cried. i cried thinking why we are so far away. and the only thing remains in my head is Daniel Bedingfield song, if you're not the one. LoL
so, is my boy really the one for me? hmm.. let time answer it.

An Affair???!!!

2006-07-27T19:36:00.000+07:00

udah lama bgt ak ga buka blog ini... dah lama juga ak ga kirim post; kali ini ak pengen banget nulisin semua perasaan ku ke sini.. umm, ak mau pake bhs indo aja.. lg ga mood inggrisan.
gini, ak jadian sama co.. kita long distance love. dia jauh dari ak.. ak bahkan kadang ga yakin apa dia bener2 real. tp ak sayang sama dia...
sampe suatu hari.. btw itu baru 3 hari yg lalu. ak kenal co.. di chat, anak sini, dan ternyata dia anak bekas guru ku, jadilah kita langsung akrab gitu. besok nya, dia nganterin ak ke kerjaan en jemput ak, nemenin ak dll... trus rasanya ak jd suka sama dia.. jujur face dia bukan tipe ku, tp personality nya itu yg bikin ak lumer. yg pasti ada setrum nya........
intinya, ak ga isa ngelupain dia, sama sekali ga isa. padahal ak tau ini salah, ak tau yg ak lakuin ini ga bener, ak dah punya co! tp... ttp aja.... selama ini, ak dah pacaran via cyber lama bgt ampir setaun, mulai dr jaman haney sampe yg sekarang ini. mungkin itu yg bikin ak lupa gimana rasanya klo deket sama co nyata yg bener2 ada di sebelah ku, yg isa becanda bareng, ketawa bareng... ga cuma via chat atau sms.
td siang ak dah kerumah co itu (the new boy) tp... sekarang ini ak dah kangen lg sama dia. kangeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen bgt... pengen banget ketemu... ak dah sms dia suruh kesini, tp dia ga bales2 atau kesini. dan itu bikin ak bete... kyk kemaren, ak nungguin kabar dari dia seharian tp ga ada kabar apa2, dan itu bikin ak bete, sama kyk sekarang... i just can't get him out of my mind!!!
ak ga tau musti apa.. semakin ak pikir semakin pusing. ak ga ngerti.. mungkin orang bakal sebut ak player atau apa.. ce yg ga setia atau apa. tp ak tau, klo misal ak pny co disini, yg bener2 disini ak ga bakal selingkuh atau ngeduain dia. masalah nya, kenapa co ku tu jauh????? ak cuma isa serahin ini ke Tuhan... ak emang ce yg masi mau seneng2, yg masi mau milih2.. dan jalan ku masi panjang... tapi, ak cuma pengen dia dateng sekarang!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

when will this emptiness fade away?

2006-06-30T21:34:00.000+07:00

i am tired... i get tired of being hurted by someone i loved.. it always just the same, i know someone, we get close to each other, and i started to fall in love with him. and everything seems so perfect at the first. until, here comes time when he starts to ignore me and all...!!!
can anyone tell me why? i don't ask a lot, all i want is just someone, who love me and cares me with all of his heart and love me just the way i am. is that too hard to be true?
or sometimes, when i think my life is perfect, i still feel so lonely. i can't help my self for it. i feel that no one really cares about me and no one love me. i feel so empty inside.
ok, maybe in times i can feel so happy and enjoy my life, but there is time like these, when i feel so desperate... it's just become a part of life maybe?

L.U.L.U.S

2006-06-19T18:15:00.000+07:00

tadi malem sumpah ak deg2an banget... gimana coba klo ak ga lulus? kan malu bgt klo musti ngulang kelas 3, parah na lagi.. ak isa diusir dr rumah sama papa. wew.
td pas sampe di skul juga deg2an, untung banyak temen ksh support.. jd ga pa pa.
trus sampe akhir na, diumumin klo nilai ku plng tinggi sekelas... trus juga di mapel inggris na paling tinggi se kab... tp jadi na skul ku juga paling tinggi rata2 na. omg.. puji tuhan bgt.. nilai semua na 25 koma berapa gitu.. inggris na 9,00 bi 8,80 trus ekonomi na 7,30... all i can say is praise the Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EXORCISM

2006-06-18T18:13:00.000+07:00

i just watch this movie last night.. and i must say that it's a kewl movie... and it's made me realize something..
1. that we must fight evil in this world, lately today there's so many terrible things happened.. that maybe it means... it's the end of the world.
2. that we will never know when we'll die, that's mean, we must appreciate life.
sometimes, i feel so lonely and that life's sucks and that i'd rather die... but in fact, we can't just waste our limited time just to feel sorry about ourselves. we should enjoy life, while we still have the chance to do it. imagine, what happens after we dead? ok, this topic starts freaking me out... i hate talking about what happens after we dead. but i can't deny it, we just have 2 choices... hell or heaven. so i just think to try my best to live my life. yes, life is colorful, sometimes it's sweet, sometimes it's so bitter. but can we just enjoy it? enjoy the bitterness and the sweetness... coz this is life.

p.s : possesed people is horrible, i hope it would never happen to me and all people i loved, and i suggest, if u think that you believe in Christ, then better watch this movie. becoz i feel that i trust Him stronger after i watch this. lol.

I wANT yoU tO WanT mE

2006-06-18T17:43:00.000+07:00

right now, i think i got a crush with a boy (of course!). He's so nice, kindly... but just like the other boy, he acts annoying sometimes. you can say that our relation is complicated, but at least we are good friends, even that i call him "hun" lol.
he had an ex gf.. and i just think that he can't make his mind. he can't choose what he wants. stupid i think, but i can't stop to cares about him. me, i don't wanna fall in love with him, but i can't deny that i want him.
it's sooooooo hard to guess what exactly i feel to him, but i think is like i mention, i just want him. i want to know how it feels if he's mine, but the most important is i want him to want me. but what can i do? he even can't make his mind... i must show him, that i worth his full attention. geez, i have a good words for this, taken from M2M song, i'll write it here....

someone to treat you right
stay with you day and night
i can tell that's what you need
i know just what to do
i'll take good care of you
baby, you can get that from me
i can tell she's not treating you right
everytime you look at me..
so which one will you choose?
you look so confused..
tell me the truth...!
do you know what you want??
love's so hard to find
so make up your mind
do you know what you want??
oh baby can't you see?
one minute you're with me..
the next one you are all over her
she talks behind your back
you know i'll stay on track
something she wouldn't for sure
how can i help you to make up your mind?
boy you're running out of time
please call me and say
i am the one
you need in your life
the game that you play
ain't no fun
just answer me now

SEAL oh SEAL....!!!!

2006-06-14T11:57:00.000+07:00

sori aja kali ini ak pake bahasa indonesia yah, krn ak lg sebel bgt...
tau deh ak tu plgn suka ama game ol yg bernama seal, tp kenapa sehhh seal di warnet ku tu bermasalah selalu???
plis deh, ak cuma pengen maen seal dengan tenang, dan kali ini ak lg ngepatch ulang seal ku,
sementara itu waktu sudah menunjukan pukul 12 siang, padahal tar sore ak jaga warnet jam 3!!!
o my god... sapa seh yg ga pusing?
ok mungkin ak mang kecanduan seal atau apa ak ga peduli deh..
ak juga ga tau apa tujuan ku nulis post ini di blog ku.. yah, cuman buat ngisi waktu luang sekaligus latihan jari di tengah warnet yg berisik banget ini (lg pada maen CS gitu loh).
hemmm, trus juga besok senen tu pengumuman.. adoooh!! kira2 ak bakal lulus ga yahhhh???
but as my cousin says "you have do the best, let God do the rest" amen.
wew, ini ngapain juga seal na pake lama bgt?
kyk na abis ini ak mo update website ku aja deh biar ga bosen....
ak juga mikir, sapa ya kira2 yg bakal baca tulisan ngacoku ini?? heuehehehe....
GBU alwayz.

NoT a GirL not YeT a wOmAn

2006-06-11T17:01:00.000+07:00

this is not a Britney's lyrics or what, lol. i think i'm on this line now.
right now my age is 17 and it will be 18 on october this year.
i dunno am i still can call my self a teenager? or a young lady?
or even my dad still call me "baby girl" lol.
i'm not childish.. but i love when my dad called me that way, coz it means he loves me, rite?
even some ppl says that i'm wiser than my age, lol.
ahhhhhh.... i just made this blog and i dunno what to say coz this is my first time post a message.
but i think i will made this blog my diary, kinda like that.. ^^
what should i say next?
ummm, i know most of our problem in our life is looking for our love one, am i right?
whether right now we have find the one yet or not...
i think, God made us each have a soul mate, oh come on you can say me that i'm naive or what still believing in something like that.. but honestly, yeah i do believe.
maybe it's like "the prayer" song..
"i hope each soul will find another soul to love..."
lol. actually what i am talking about now????
but guys, even if we haven't find the one yet, that doesn't mean we can't keep being happy and enjoy life. example, me. lol. i have being single for 5 months, and i am okay, i still enjoy my life and all. and i still have my friends... :)
but i know... sometimes i still feel so lonely, i still wants to have someone special, i want someone who can cuddle me, caress me, and all. but hey, if we spend time just for feel sorry for ourselves it won't work! God won't send someone that suddenly appear in front of us like magic right?
for that, we must go out, hanging with friends, and see if we can find somebody or just having fun... however guys, we live this life just ONCE, so don't wasting your time!! ^^